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Hi, I’m dr. Melissa, lady psychologist at Legacy counseling service in Broken Arrow Oklahoma, thanks for joining me today today and want to talk a little bit about how we can get stuck in her ways of thinking and why that happens. So I’ve made a little a chart to help. You understand a little bit better. What I’m talking about so overtime people develop core beliefs about themselves or about the world. So in this example, Tulsa Counseling Services this person’s core belief is that they’re not good enough for these types of beliefs develop over time, usually friend, when were children and they just get reinforced along the way. And so what happens? Is we have this belief about ourselves and then we have these situations that happened in life that actually support that belief. So, for example, this person they didn’t get a job promotion. Their kids are having problems with their friends and they’re. Having a lot of arguments with their spouse, so all these things they couldn’t fit in nicely to this core belief like they fit they feel like they must be true and so overtime. We use these examples that come up in our lives to basically say see. I knew that that belief was true, because if it wasn’t true that when it happened, is this belief I have about myself wasn’t true that I’m not good enough, then I wouldn’t be struggling with my mouth. So when we experience depression or anxiety or things like that, we just kind of Park our thoughts around these areas and we tend to ignore the other. Things are life that maybe don’t support this belief. So we tend to ignore the triangles in our lives. So this person they actually got asked to head up a committee. Tulsa Counseling Services They made a new friend. They got a good review on their job and their spouse that they’re willing to go to therapy to do some marital work but. What happens is we have all these other examples that they just don’t quite fit into the way that we see ourselves or the way that we see our world, and so we say well, yes, I know that that’s true, but it doesn’t say anything different. I’M still not good enough, because really it just doesn’t seem to fit into the way we think about ourselves, so in therapy.

One of the things that I really like to work on with people is to help them identify what are these rectangles in their lives and how do they fit into the things that they believe about themselves into how they believe I’m about the world or people around Them to help you identify that and then also to help you by identify what are these triangles and what are we going to make up this? Tulsa Counseling Services Is there another core belief that is put a hidden in the recesses or that we need to work on creating? Because just because these triangles don’t fit into here doesn’t mean they’re, not true? I’M! It just means that it doesn’t fit into this belief that you’re not good enough. So that’s one of the ways that I like to work in therapy with people. If you have any questions about working with me or if you just need a consultation, you are welcome to visit me on my website at www. Legacy. Counseling Service. Com – or you are always welcome – to call me at 539-777-1129. So I hope this video helps and please give me a call or send me an email if you have any questions that I can answer for you thanks so much bye, Hi, this is dr. Melissa, lady, here from Legacy counseling service in Broken Arrow Oklahoma. Thanks for joining me today, lately I’ve been doing a lot of blogging about Stress and Anxiety. I just to deal with another kind of everyday stuff of life and I reference a diaphragmatic breathing a lot or deep-breathing. Tulsa Counseling Services I reference the other relaxation exercises also, but today I wanted to share with you how to do diaphragmatic, breathing or deep breathing, so that you’ll have a better idea and you can start to practice it on your own, and this is really something that you can do.

Pretty much anywhere on while you’re laying down while you’re standing up if you’re sitting, if you’re in the grocery store, if you’re in your car. So when we tend to get stressed and anxious. If we do a lot of chest. Breeding and those are kind of shallow short breaths that really don’t bring a lot of oxygen into the body and the more oxygen we bring into the body. Tulsa Counseling Services That’S the body’s way of recognize that’s, okay to relax and calm down. So when we want to reduce stress, it’s better to do diaphragmatic breathing and would die 4 Matic reading you’re, really using a diaphragm muscle right under here and you’re blowing up your belly. A little bit ballooning up your belly to bring more Aaron more oxygen in and then moving it up into the chest so that you can think about. This is to imagine that you actually have a balloon in your belly and that when you inhale, you are pushing out your belly and trying to expand and blow that balloon up. And then you hold the breath for just a couple couple seconds: whatever’s comfortable and then you slowly exhale, almost as if you were flickering a flame on the end of a candle. So it’s a very, very slow exhale again just to the point that it’s comfortable. So when you’re learning this, you want to breathe into your belly and then move it up into your chest. Tulsa Counseling Services So for me to show you, you should see the hand my belly move more and move first before you see the hand on my chest move. So let me show you what it looks like, so you should see this hand move more than this hand and this hand move first. I noticed that when I breathe in, I just pause for one or two counts, because that’s what’s comfortable for me and I do a very slow exhale and the exhales almost double the length of my inhaler.

So you want to try to do whatever’s comfortable. If you have a hard time breathing through your nose, it’s okay, you can breathe through your mouth, but I’ll show you one more time what it looks like with my hands and then I’ll show you without k. Okay, so that’s diaphragmatic! Breathing! If you do that a couple times a day for in a 2 or 3 minutes at a time, not really will reduce kind of the psychological and physiological Stress and Anxiety that you feel, if you get into the habit of doing that, whenever you are trying to Prevent stress or anxiety from coming on or you’re trying to get rid of it in the moment your body will kind of be trained a little bit and it will better know what to do, and so, when you are feeling anxious, it might take a little little Bit for your body to say: oh yeah, I know what she’s doing now we’re trying to get relaxed, but it’s going to have more of that muscle memory, and so it will respond faster to the diaphragmatic breathing. Then, if you didn’t practice it regularly. So that’s just a quick tips for stress and manager, anxiety and stay tuned, because I will be sending more your way, maybe about progressive muscle, relaxation and visualization and some future videos so take care. Give me a call if you I would like to chat about therapy 539-777-1129, or you can also find me online at www.legacy.com Celine service.com thanks. So much bye