At Legacy Counseling Service in Broken Arrow, we provide mental health counseling for parents who are at a loss of how to help their children deal with stress, anger, anxiety, depression, and other big emotions. Sometimes when emotions are so big, nothing seems to work to calm your child down. In this blog, Kristi Spence, LMFT-C shares 8 coping skills that you can use with your child. While the strategies won’t completely solve every problem, these skills can make a huge impact on a child’s overall mental health and behavior. If you are noticing behavioral issues in your child that seem to stem from really strong emotions, doing these coping skills with your children may be a great option!
These skills are the most effective when used regularly, even when your child is not currently in meltdown mode! Engage your children in these skills when they have a calm mind, and they will be better able to use them when they feel overwhelmed.
COPING SKILLS FOR YOUNG CHILDREN:
- Deep breathing
There are many ways to teach deep breathing to your child, but for now, I will offer three ideas. What they all have in common is that the deep breaths are slow and controlled. Kids will hopefully follow along better with these metaphors!
–BALLOON BREATHING: Take a deep breath as if you have a balloon in your belly and you need to fill it all the way up with air. Hold it for two seconds, and slowly release the air from the balloon until it’s empty. Repeat twice.
–SNAKE BREATHING: Take a slow, deep breath filling up your body with air. Hold your breath for two seconds and slowly release while hissing like a snake. Continue hissing until all of your air is gone. Repeat twice.
–PINWHEEL BREATHING: Grab a small pinwheel from the dollar store. Fill up your belly with air and slowly blow into the pinwheel while watching the pinwheel spin. Repeat twice.
- Blow bubbles
Grab bubbles and a bubble wand. Blow bubbles while your child watches.
- Create a Mindfulness jar
You can create your own mindfulness jar, or you can buy a snowglobe! To create your own mindfulness jar, take an empty water bottle (or glass sealable jar), fill it ⅔ with warm water and ⅓ with clear glue. Add glitter of different sizes, and different sizes of beads. Seal the bottle or jar.
To use the jar, gently shake your jar to make all of the glitter and beads become scattered throughout the jar. Explain to your child that when they have big emotions, their mind is like the jar: mixed up, unclear, disorganized, etc. Then tell your child to watch the jar as all of the glitter slowly settles to the bottom. Watching the jar can help your child’s mind and body focus, helping to regulate their emotions.
- Take a walk or do some other exercise
Walking, running, or having a dance party are great healthy ways to regulate emotions. When you exercise, your brain naturally produces “happy chemicals” that can reduce stress and improve your overall mood!
- Do kids yoga
I’m no yoga expert, but you can teach your children poses that mimic animals or objects, and this can be a great way to help connect the mind and body and regulate emotions. Ask your child to stand tall like a tree, or crouch like a lion. They can lie flat like a beach towel, or curl up into a ball like an armadillo!
- Sing a song
Invite your child to sing their favorite song, and sing it with them! Better yet, sing the song in a funny voice and encourage your child to sing in their funniest voice.
- Drink water
Offer your child a cold glass of water.
- Color
If your child loves to color, get out the coloring book and crayons. Even better, invite them to color their feelings! Coloring is another great way to regulate emotions, even for adults.
YOU are important, too!
Keep in mind that you, as a mommy or daddy, are a very important part of helping your children cope with big emotions. When you invite your child to take a walk or sing a silly song, what you are really communicating to your child is “I love you no matter what.” And that is the most important way you can help your child cope with any emotion or struggle.
If you believe your child needs more personalized support for his or her big emotions, please call Legacy Counseling Service in Broken Arrow at 918-505-4367 to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation with Kristi Spence, LMFT-C, a mental health therapist in Broken Arrow!