Going into recovery from sexual addiction is like taking on any other challenge in life. You have to make a plan. It’s going to take more than mental health therapy to get you through this journey. As a Certified Sexual Recovery Therapist in Broken Arrow, I’ve had years of experience helping men recover from sexual addiction. So, I’m going to go over the basic keys to success in overcoming sexual addiction.
- Cut Off the Source
Jesus taught in The Sermon on the mount that if our eyes cause us to sin then gouge them out. We are not going to gouge out our eyes, but we will do the next best thing and cut off access to what our eyes sin with. This can be tricky since it will mean cutting off access to things that we have become accustomed to making our lives easier, such as smartphones, computers, and televisions. If we can’t completely unplug, the next best thing is to downgrade. Buy a flip phone, cancel certain TV services, and install software on your phone and computers that both block porn use and send messages to accountability partners.
- Set Boundaries
One of the first things we must be mindful of is the temptation to cut corners. For example, social media sites like Facebook or Instagram may not fall under the definition of “porn” to you. But if you are using it to get sexually aroused, then it is. The addict in us will try to excuse it, but if we are going to beat this addiction, we must set our standards high and be honest with ourselves about our behavior. You might think flirting with your coworker is harmless, but what you are really doing is playing games with your addiction. Jesus taught that to even look upon a woman lustfully is adultery. Recovery is not just about certain behaviors. It’s about who we are as men and who God made us to be.
- EstablishAccountability Partners
You may have heard it said the opposite of addiction is connection. This may be the most difficult step because as addicts we are used to being alone. In fact, we prefer it. But one of the hallmark characteristics of addiction is the inability to overcome this on our own. I recommend finding a group like Celebrate Recovery or Sex Addicts Anonymous where you will find other men who relate to what you are going through and will not judge you.
Note: This should not be your wife. Putting her in this role only puts her at risk for more trauma and stress.
4.) Read and Pray
In 1945, a Scottish author by the name of Bruce Marshall wrote, “A young man ringing a brothel bell is unconsciously looking for God.” Your addiction may not be taking you to brothels, but you are seeking God, nonetheless. I recommend getting into a routine of praying twice a day. When you wake up and when you go to bed. While you do this, read His word. I recommend starting with Romans chapters 7 and 8. I also recommend reading other materials related to the topic of sex addiction. Authors such as Patrick Carnes, Doug Weiss, and Mark Laaser have several books to choose from.
Recovery is hard, but it’s possible.
If you’re tired of living with shame, secrecy, and fear, you don’t have to fight this battle alone. Healing begins with honesty, working on being consistent with the steps above, compassionate mental health counseling with a therapist with training and experience in sexual recovery, and a willingness to ask for help. If you’re looking for a Certified Sexual Recovery Therapist for confidential sex addiction counseling or porn addiction therapy in Broken Arrow, OK, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. At Legacy Counseling Service, PLLC, I help men move beyond shame, uncover the underlying issues driving addiction, and build lives marked by integrity, healthy relationships, and lasting freedom. Your story isn’t over. Freedom starts by taking the first step. Reach out to me, Mark Fry, LPC, at www.legacycounselingservices.com/mark-fry-lpc to get started with counseling.
Mark Fry, LPC, Certified Sexual Recovery Therapist in Broken Arrow, OK.